The Nation of I

The nation called I is the greatest nation in the universe. Its strength is spectacular. That strength nestles in the nation’s Ministry of Photography. It is also colloquially called the Department of I-MAGI-NATION. That word is a complex word derived from three other complex words- I, image (imaging), and nation. The nation rests on the ability of I Party, the ruling party, to create images for the nation. Creating images of the nation is okay. This is however creating images for the nation. It pays better.
The concept of nation is instructive. It refers to sameness amongst a group. Any group with something owned collectively is a nation. “If Facebook were a nation”, a friend said to me, “it’ll have a larger population than China.” The nation Facebook has a population of 1.65 billion, the nation WhatsApp has a population of 1 billion plus, the nation Twitter has a population of 310 million. However, contrary to my friend’s opinion, I don’t think Facebook is the largest nation in the universe. Ever considered how many citizens the nation Lipstick has? What of the nations Pen, Pencil and Eraser? Now, consider how many patriotic citizens the nation Internet has. Hitler would cringe! He didn’t need to win a war. All he had to do was birth another kind of I-DEA through the Department of I-MAGI-NATION! I-DEAs are the images the Department produces.
Every state has its own brand of wahala. The nation of I is particularly troubled by the opposition parties Me and Myself. Me Party is only cognizant of yesterday. They fight every attempt to allocate money to the Department of I-MAGI-NATION. They think it’s a waste of time and resources and that the nation would be better off doing things that would yield commonsense dividends. Myself Party is so concerned about the welfare of Me, I and Myself that they fail to recognize that independence is only the starting point of interdependence. This party believes in the Department of I-MAGI-NATION. They fight tooth and nail to ensure the only projects that gain approval are Myself-oriented! You never met more adamant groups.
In the History books, I read that the nation of Zion travailed and gave birth to children. “There they go again”, I think to myself, “crazy old fellows!” Wise fellow! Nations are living things, but I was too smart to see. They grow, give birth and die. Their lifespan is eternity because eternity has been set in the hearts of man. I learnt that from my instructor. He is called the Philosopher. Nations die, though they can live forever. Please, don’t ask me why the Typewriter, once the envy of the world, is now on the throes of death. I even heard (Don’t even ask me where, when, from who) the Abacus machine offered to send him humanitarian aid to assist the epidemic the nation is facing. The Nation Bill Gates gave birth to the Nation Windows and Microsoft. Now, he has another grandson! I heard his daughter Microsoft recently adopted the child LinkedIn.
When you seat to eat, give thanks for Bitter-leaf soup. Who gave birth to that great nation? Give thanks for Couscous, Ewedu, Tuwo and Kenke. Then give thanks for the nation Toilet Paper.